7 Healthy Boundaries to Set During a Faith Transition

Faith transitions are no joke.

You may feel that your religious foundational beliefs no longer align with your personal values, which can bring on feelings of confusion, shame, or guilt. You might have already decided it’s time to take a step back or completely step away from your previous religious beliefs.

This can be a time of high stress or even high excitement as you navigate this new chapter. Remember, you are the most important person to take care of during this process. We get it—we’ve been there—and we’re here to help!

Let’s Talk Boundaries

When leaving any faith, setting strong boundaries is essential for protecting your mental health, maintaining relationships, and honoring your new beliefs. Boundaries allow you to stay connected to the people and places you love without compromising your sense of self.

What Boundaries Are Not:

• Selfish

• A way to avoid problems or people

• Rules

What Boundaries Are:

• Putting yourself and your mental wellness first

• Letting others know what you will and will not accept in your life

• A way to protect yourself emotionally and spiritually

7 Boundaries to Start With Today

1. I will not talk about my reasons for leaving the church if I feel uncomfortable.

You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your decisions. You have the right to decline conversations that make you uncomfortable or feel invasive. Protecting your emotional well-being is a form of self-care.

2. Saying no.

You may be invited to participate in church activities, old family traditions, or prayer. If these activities no longer align with your personal values, it’s okay to say no. Setting this boundary helps you honor your evolving beliefs while reducing unnecessary stress.

3. I am willing to talk, as long as each party is respectful of each other.

When approached with curiosity and kindness, you may feel open to sharing your thoughts. Some friends or family members might even be experiencing similar doubts or questions and could benefit from your perspective.

4. Freedom to express spiritual boundaries.

Your beliefs are uniquely yours, whether or not they align with those of your family or partner. Respecting each other’s spiritual journeys fosters mutual growth and understanding. This is especially important when navigating issues like a faith crisis, religious trauma, or an existential crisis.

5. Asking for space.

Sometimes you need alone time to process emotions and sort through the challenges of a faith transition. Taking space is perfectly healthy and can help you maintain your sense of identity during this transformative period.

6. I will not take blame or feel guilty for my decisions.

Unwanted comments or attempts to guilt you about your choices are not welcome. You have the right to walk away from conversations that undermine your confidence in your decisions.

7. Sticking up for yourself.

You are allowed to be yourself, believe in different things, and express your thoughts without shrinking or hiding who you are. Practicing self-advocacy is key to building emotional resilience during this time.

The Importance of Healthy Boundaries

Practicing healthy boundaries takes time and patience, but it’s a vital part of maintaining emotional, spiritual, and physical health during a faith transition. Being honest about what you need now will set you up for long-term success as you navigate this journey.

While boundaries may change over time as you grow and heal, holding yourself and others accountable will bring greater peace of mind and make the transition into your new life smoother.

Seeking Support

If setting boundaries feels overwhelming or if you're struggling with feelings of guilt, confusion, or isolation during this process, consider seeking help through faith transition counseling or spiritual counseling. Therapy can provide tools for navigating relationships, processing emotions tied to leaving religion, and building confidence in your new path.

Faith transitions are challenging but also an opportunity for growth and self-discovery. By prioritizing your well-being and practicing healthy boundaries, you can create a life that aligns with your values while fostering meaningful connections with those around you.

Learn more about faith transitions and find help here.