How to Deal with Family Comments When Going Through a Faith Transition

When going through a Mormon or LDS faith transition, you may get a lot of questions, comments, and “advice” from family and friends. Ideally they will inquire without judgement because they care about you and what you’re going through, but most often it seems they want you to change your mind and stay in the religion. You may end up feeling unheard, judged, alienated, or even shamed.

HERE ARE SOME HELFUL TIPS ON HOW TO CHALLENGE FAMILY COMMENTS

Comment: Now we won’t be a celestial family

Challenge: I don’t believe that a loving Heavenly Father breaks families apart just because they believe differently.

Comment: You’ll never know true happiness outside of the church

Challenge: I am truly happy, that’s how I know I made the right choice for me.

Comment: You’re choosing worldly things/easy way

Challenge: This was not an easy decision for me. I have spent time studying and learning about myself and my spirituality before coming to this decision. Just because you only see the choice I made, doesn’t mean it wasn’t a process for me.

Comment: It’s just a phase

Challenge: Maybe my time in the church was just a phase? It wouldn’t be progress if I learned something new and didn’t change my behavior. I am growing as a person and know what’s right for me.

Comment: I’m praying for you

Challenge: I really appreciate you thinking of me and my happiness. I will keep you in my thoughts.

At the end of the day, you get to decide on what works for you. While many of these comments may hurt, in our experience, these responses are almost always the result of well-meaning people with genuine concern for us who have been programmed to respond this way. However, because they lack understanding of how someone could leave a faith they love with such strong conviction, they may feel guilty at what they perceive as failures on their part.

When working through a faith transition, counseling may be extremely helpful. Now that you are not looking outward to The Brethren to get your guidance, it can be a process learning to turn inward and trusting yourself. Therapy can help you identify your values and how to live more in congruence with them. Learn more about faith transition therapy.

Meeting with a therapist may help you more on an individual level. Our therapists specialize in faith transitions and can help make sense of family responses. Get in with a therapist here.