Building Your Coping Toolbox
Everyone goes through hard times. Let’s face it. Life is stressful! From the economy to the state of the world, from your kids lunches to your friends cancer. Yeesh! Learning to cope with the emotions that come with these experiences is important to your mental health and to your relationships.
Have you ever heard of an emotional toolbox? It’s like a metaphorical, invisible toolbox. And instead of tools it holds a collection of skills, items, or techniques that help you de-stress, feel less anxious, and have a calming effect. Don’t get overwhelmed. Start slowly as you begin gathering your best, most effective coping skills. Here are some ideas that can help jump start your emotional tool collection:
Example Tools:
Breathing Exercises
Try a box- breath. Use your finger to draw a square in the air or on a surface. Breath slowly and deeply through your nose as your finger goes up the side of the invisible square. Hold your breath for 5 seconds as your finger goes across the top of the square. Exhale slowly out your mouth for 5 counts as your finger goes down the side of the square. Then hold again for 5 counts while your finger comes back to where it started. Try doing different numbers of counts but keep repeating it until you feel calmer.
Call a Friend
Sometimes we need a reminder that people care. Talking to a good friend can remind you that you aren’t alone in your struggles and someone will always have your back. Seriously though. Do it. Before you do anything you might regret.
Practice Gratitude
Start a gratitude journal. Reflecting on things you are grateful for can help change your mindset. If you don’t have anything to write on- try to list them in your mind. One for each letter of the alphabet starting with A.
Make Yourself Laugh
Make a list or collection of your favorite memes, gifs, pictures, YouTube videos, tiktoks, reels, and movies that make you laugh. Label them - “Watch Me When Sad”. This might be in a social media folder or tab or in a google doc or in a list on your phone. But turning to this helps ease things momentarily.
Use Your Five Senses
Creating a sensory experience can help calm stress and anxiety by pulling you into the present. What is going on in the here and now. (Basically mindfulness) You can try popping bubble wrap, sucking on sour candy, squeezing a stress ball/putty, applying scented lotion, etc. Notice the texture of the seat your sitting on. Notice where the light hits your skin. Notice the sound of the cars driving by or your cat purring. These things are practicing mindfulness and engage your senses.
Letter to Self
Write a letter to yourself on a day when you are feeling good. Title the letter, “Read Me When ______”. This can be you validating and giving advice for the times you feel alone, depression, freaking out, wanting to diet again, etc. It will be sooo helpful to read those validating words when you are in wise mind and have perspective.
It may take some trial and error to learn what works for you, but having a tool box (either real or figurative) for when life gets overwhelming can help you get a handle on life again.
Want a more personal approach? Work with Sydney Parker, LMHC and get one-on-one help here.