How a HAES Therapist Supports Your Relationship With Food

Most of us grow up with rules about food. Clean your plate. Carbs are bad. Only eat when you’re hungry. Then we wonder why eating feels confusing or why we feel guilty after meals. The truth is, our relationship with food isn’t broken; it’s just been shaped by judgment, shame, and unrealistic expectations. 

A HAES therapist helps untangle that. Instead of focusing on weight or what you should or shouldn’t eat, the work centers around food freedom and body trust. In Salt Lake County, where external pressure to look a certain way can feel heavy, finding another way forward matters. We make room for care that honors each person’s real, lived story.

What HAES Means (and What It Doesn’t)

The phrase Health at Every Size (HAES) often brings up strong feelings. Some assume it means ignoring health or embracing unhealthy patterns. That’s not it. At its core, HAES is a framework built around respect, respect for body diversity, access to care, and the understanding that not all bodies look or behave the same way. Weight is not used as a marker of success or failure.

• HAES is not a diet plan or a wellness trend. It’s a shift in how we approach well-being, without tying it to weight changes.

• It recognizes that health isn't one-size-fits-all and that focusing only on numbers can do more harm than good.

• It makes space for each person to show up as they are and define health in a way that matches their life, not someone else’s rules.

Believing that health can come in many shapes can be hard when you’ve been taught the opposite. But that belief is often the first step toward healing the way we think about food and ourselves.

Why Food Gets So Complicated

Food used to be simple, until it wasn’t. For many, eating brings more stress than comfort. That makes total sense when we’ve spent years absorbing messages that certain foods are “bad,” or that we’re only doing well when our eating is perfectly controlled. The result? A cycle of guilt, over-correction, and overload that leaves people stuck.

• Diets promise control, but they often lead to binge eating and feelings of failure when “willpower” breaks down.

• Internalized shame shows up in the fear of eating in front of others, constant grazing, or panic after overeating.

• Rules get louder over time, making it hard to trust our own hunger, cravings, or fullness cues.

A HAES therapist works to quiet that noise. We slow things down, take judgment out of the room, and listen to what your body and history are trying to tell you. That process gives people space to eat without panic, shame, or second-guessing.

Support That Moves at Your Pace

One of the most important things we do is let people take their time. There is no timeline for healing your relationship with food. You don’t need to be fixed. You need space to figure out what actually works for you.

• Therapy here isn’t a checklist or a plan we push. It’s a shared process based on your experiences, not some outside expectation.

• We work gently through layers of body image pain, guilt around eating, or long-standing pressure to control food perfectly.

• Some days that work look like small wins, like being able to eat lunch without panic, and that’s enough.

There’s no “perfect eater,” and you don’t have to arrive anywhere to begin this kind of work. All that’s needed is curiosity and a little trust that it won’t be all-or-nothing this time around.

The Role of Body Respect in Food Healing

If feeling good about food feels impossible, try starting with body respect instead. That might sound like a big leap, but it doesn’t mean loving every part of your body. It can mean tuning into your hunger, choosing clothes that don’t pinch or poke, or resting when your body says it’s done.

• Respecting your body could simply mean not punishing it with exercise when you’re tired.

• It might look like pausing before skipping a meal out of guilt, and asking what you really need instead.

• It can be as basic as allowing comfort, rather than putting yourself last over and over again.

A HAES therapist offers support in noticing the beliefs that keep people locked into fight-or-flight with their bodies. Often, that includes unpacking messages that say your worth depends on how you look. When you get some breathing room from all that noise, food tends to feel less loaded, too.

Nourishment Without Pressure

One of the hardest parts of healing in a culture that focuses so much on weight is learning that you can take care of yourself without chasing perfection. It’s okay to have rough patches. It’s okay if things aren’t totally steady yet. What matters is building a way of relating to food that doesn’t feel like a battle every day.

• You don’t need to have it figured out. A little softness toward your body can go a long way.

• Health doesn’t have to come with tracking apps or before-and-after photos.

• Healing your relationship with food doesn’t mean everything is peaceful all the time; it just means it’s less noisy, less exhausting.

At Modern Eve Therapy, our approach is grounded in trauma-informed and weight-inclusive care to help clients break free from diet culture and long-standing food guilt. We offer specialized eating disorder counseling for those ready to create a more authentic relationship with food in Salt Lake County. Our focus on community and cultural context means we support unique histories and identities, prioritizing true body trust over external rules.

Building Trust with Food and Your Body, One Step at a Time

No matter how long someone’s been struggling, it’s possible to come back to food in a way that feels calmer, more grounded, and more real. And we’re here for each small, steady step.

Struggling with food guilt, eating confusion, or ongoing body image issues can feel overwhelming, but you’re not alone. We support individuals throughout Salt Lake County who are ready to break free from diet culture and create a more sustainable relationship with food. 

Working with a HAES therapist offers a compassionate space to rebuild trust in your body and explore a healthier approach to eating. At Modern Eve Therapy, we believe in healing with understanding, not pressure. When you’re ready for a new chapter, reach out to take the next step with us.