I’m Nervous About Dressing “Immodestly” this Summer

Is this your first Summer since going through your faith crisis or leaving the Church? You may be feeling a bit nervous about dressing “immodestly” this Summer. Your family, friends, community, and yourself have been used to prioritizing modest dress. And now there is a chance that people will see the additional skin you are showing and will know that something inside you must have changed. It can be an outward sign that you no longer hold the same values you used to. No wonder it causes such anxiety to think of someone you know seeing you in that short skirt or tank top.

PURITY CULTURE

When words like “immodest” and “inappropriate” are thrown around, we all find ourselves a little more nervous about taking our Summer wardrobe for a spin. Growing up in a strict, religious environment, girls are often taught their bodies are to be covered up because they are a temptation to others. Shorts should go to the knees, shoulders should be covered, necklines not too low, and stomach always covered. Elaborate techniques to check modesty are often used to ‘verify’ if an outfit is appropriate. It leaves many of us too afraid to try out anything new.

ASK YOURSELF

What do you think modesty truly means?

Do you think it can vary person to person?

Do you think it can depend on the context, event, location, or season?

COMMENTS YOU MAY GET

It seems that everyone has an opinion about what you wear and how you look. When you finally find your comfort level, it may be very different than the one you grew up with. Preparing yourself for some comments you my get can make all the difference in your new exploration of clothing.

Comment: Don't you think that shows too much skin?

Response: No. I feel comfortable with the amount of skin I’m showing. I shouldn’t have to cover myself just to make other’s “more comfortable” with my body. I am more than what I choose to wear.

Comment: You're trying to be stylish, but it's just not modest.

Response: I like my style. Clothing choices are a type of self expression.

Comment: Is that the kind of attention you want?

Response: I’m not looking for unwelcome attention. We should give everyone the same respect, no matter what they’re wearing.

Just remember, you are not responsible for other’s emotions. Whether it’s finally wearing a bikini you’ve been eyeing, wearing shorter shorts, or getting comfortable and showing your shoulders, you can decide for yourself what your level of “modesty” is.

If your working through a faith crisis and are having a difficult time, faith transition counseling may be the right step for you. Book with a faith transition therapist here.