4 Things To Do Instead of Avoiding Your Feelings

Feelings can be hard to deal with. It can be tempting to act on what you’re feeling right away, (impulsivity), but that often doesn’t fix the situation that caused the emotions. You may also try to ignore what you’re feeling (avoidance). You may pretend things don’t bother you, when they actually do (denial), or think it will just go away by getting busy with something else (distraction). Here are four things you can do instead of avoiding your feelings.

WHAT TO DO

Pause

Take a step back and ask why you may be having these feelings. Evaluate if these are in-the-moment feelings or have been consistently coming up. You can think things through. Try taking a break to take a few deep breaths before looking at what is going on in an attempt to see it more clearly.

Get Curious

View what you feeling through a lens of curiosity. Avoid diminishing, invalidating, or calling yourself names for having these human emotions. Instead give yourself some “of course” statements to normalize and make sense of the feelings. Ask yourself, “if someone I loved was feeling the same way I am feeling, how would I react to them?” This is a good way to help remove some of the judgment about your feelings and instead shift into curiosity.

Name Your Emotions

Whatever it is that you are feeling, it is ok to feel that way. Allowing your feelings the space and time you need will help you work through them when you're ready. Naming your emotions can be vital in helping you understand what is going on inside you. Try your best to name your emotions, whether it be shame, fear, anxiety, anger, or protective even, your feelings matter.

Help

It's okay to ask for help and express your feelings. You don’t have to understand and work through all you emotions alone. Talking to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist can make all the difference. You matter and you deserve to take up space.

If you're still having a hard time after trying these, it may be time to go deeper and get some help. Learn more about mental health counseling here or if your ready to take the plunge, find a therapist here.