Summer Family Gatherings in Utah: Managing Religious Trauma Triggers
Summer in Utah brings its own rhythm—longer days, hot weather, and for many, the return of big family get-togethers. These reunions might mean cookouts, backyard games, and catching up with relatives. But for people who’ve stepped away from a conservative or faith-based upbringing, these gatherings can surface some deeply uncomfortable feelings. The same faces around the table that once brought comfort might now be tied to criticism, pressure, or reminders of a time they’ve worked hard to grow through.
Living in a region with a strong LDS influence can make it even more complicated. Religion often shows up in subtle, unspoken ways—what people wear, what they say, or even what they don’t say. For those dealing with religious trauma, these constants can feel like landmines. Planning ahead and understanding your emotional needs before joining family this summer can make a big difference in how you experience the event.
Understanding Religious Trauma
Religious trauma isn’t always about massive, dramatic events. It can grow from years of being judged, shamed, or silenced. It might come from strict teachings about worthiness, gender roles, or fear-based obedience. Some people are hurt by being rejected for their beliefs, identity, or way of living. Others just carry a dull, ever-present feeling of not being enough, long after they've moved on.
Summer events like reunions can kick these feelings back up. A casual comment like “We’re praying for you” or a push to come to church “just this once” might sound harmless, but it can reopen past pain. Hearing judgmental remarks about your life or being asked why you no longer follow certain values can be overwhelming.
Triggers can sneak up on you. They might show up through:
- Religious language used casually during meals or conversation
- Family making assumptions about your beliefs or values
- Requests to join in prayer or church-related activities
- Seeing church decor or magazines around the home
- Being left out of jokes or traditions tied to the religion
Naming these triggers is the first step. When you know what sets you off, you can make a plan to protect yourself, both emotionally and mentally.
Preparing For Summer Family Gatherings
Being ready doesn’t mean being perfectly calm or unbothered. It means giving yourself tools to stay grounded. Prepping doesn’t mean you’re avoiding people you care about—it means making room for your healing.
Here are some ways to check in before heading to a family event:
1. Check in with yourself first. Ask yourself what’s really causing stress. Is it a certain person? A part of the day? Understanding the root gives you direction.
2. Plan your exit strategy. Decide ahead of time how long you’ll stay. Give yourself permission to leave early if needed.
3. Set clear boundaries. Think of short phrases you can say when a conversation crosses a line. Try things like “I’m not up for that topic,” or “Let’s keep this light today.”
4. Identify your safe people. Choose one or two people who get it. Let them know what you’re feeling before the gathering. They can help change the subject or step in when things get rough.
5. Create a grounding toolkit. Think of small tools that help calm you. Breathwork, a familiar object in your pocket, or stepping outside for a bit can make all the difference.
The goal isn’t to control everything—it’s to give yourself a better chance of feeling present and balanced. You deserve a plan that helps you take care of your needs.
Coping Mechanisms During Gatherings
All that prep still can’t stop those moments when it feels like things hit you out of nowhere. The noise, the small talk, a loaded comment—they can all appear at once, making it hard to stay grounded.
Here are some in-the-moment tools to ease that wave:
- Name what you’re feeling. If your heart’s racing, quietly say to yourself, “I feel anxious right now.” That simple phrase gives your brain something to hold.
- Use your breath. Take a deep breath in through your nose for four counts, hold for two, then exhale slowly through your mouth.
- Try visual grounding. Focus on one item in the space—a tree, a dish, even a candle. Pay attention to its details. Describing it in your mind can help interrupt anxious thoughts.
- Take short breaks. Go outside, visit the restroom, or step into another room for a minute. Giving your body a break from the pressure can reset your energy.
- Repeat a calming phrase. Try something like “I’m safe right now” or “This moment doesn’t define me.” Hearing your own voice say it helps.
You might also need to speak up if something feels off. Some folks don’t realize their comments are painful. Saying, “I’d rather not talk about that today,” can help shift things gently.
Post-Gathering Self-Care
Even if all goes well, it’s common to feel wiped out afterward. That tense or drained feeling is your body still catching up with everything it just went through. That doesn’t mean anything went wrong—it means you were sensitive to hard things and made space for them.
Post-gathering self-care is just as important as any prep:
- Set a calming routine. A long shower or bath, comfy clothes, and music you love can help signal safe and quiet energy to your body.
- Talk it out with someone safe. Share how it went—the good and the tough—with a friend or a therapist. Letting it out makes it easier to sort through.
- Watch your body’s signals. Trouble sleeping, ups and downs in eating, or mood swings can suggest your nervous system still needs care. Treat these signs with attention, not judgment.
- Write down what went well. Whether it was sticking to a boundary or having a good laugh with someone, naming small wins helps balance the story.
Recovery needs time too. Giving yourself space to feel everything after the gathering is part of what builds future strength.
Finding Support Through Religious Trauma Therapy
Sometimes the weight of these interactions stretches beyond a single event. If being around religious family or stepping into those spaces brings distress that lingers days or weeks later, that’s a sign you deserve more help in holding it.
Religious trauma therapy can help not just with what happened, but with how it’s still showing up. The goal isn’t only to understand your past but to create choices in how you move forward. Working with someone who understands this kind of pain gives you new ways to respond—not just react.
Therapists familiar with religious trauma help you map out what safety looks like now, not what it was supposed to be before. They can help you drop shame, rebuild confidence, and feel strengthened in your decisions.
If you live in Murray, UT, Modern Eve Therapy offers support that understands the pressure that comes with living near LDS-centered traditions. Our therapists know what it means to rebuild your identity and narrative step-by-step after spiritual harm. You don’t need to explain every detail—we already get the context.
Navigating Your Path Forward
Getting through a family event after stepping away from religion takes courage. It’s okay if you don’t walk away feeling whole or healed. What matters is that you showed up, navigated your limits, and honored yourself along the way.
With each gathering, your strategy may change. You might stay less time, speak up sooner, or make new plans that reflect what you need now. Healing doesn’t mean going back to who you were—it means trusting who you are becoming.
You were never meant to heal from this on your own. There’s real support out there, and you deserve care that fits your story. With the right tools and people in your corner, showing up to tough events won’t always feel like a mountain.
The most important part is knowing you have a way forward—and that it’s okay to move at your own pace.
Finding the right support can make all the difference when dealing with the effects of religious trauma. Modern Eve Therapy is here to guide you through this journey. If you're ready to explore how professional help in Utah can support your healing, consider looking into religious trauma therapy. Take the first step today to rediscover your strength and embrace the new you.
