How to Restructure Your Values After a Faith Transition
Religion offers a set of values to lead our lives by. This isn't a problem for those whose values seem to align with their religion of choice. However, it can lead to a lot of internal turmoil and anxiety if those values don't quite align with yours.
If you are considering leaving the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints or shifting to living the gospel in a new way that is a great way to start living more authentically. It can either be a natural step and not much changes in your life, or you may feel a ton of distress. What is it you truly believe? What values are most important to you and what has changed? Don’t worry, your not alone. Restructuring your personal values may take time, exploration, and patience, but we’re here to make that process a little easier.
THINK ABOUT THE VALUES YOU WERE TAUGHT IN THE CHURCH
List the top 10 values. If you need help, check out this list from Brene Brown. Even if these values were not blatantly shared across the pulpit - list the main 10 values that you extracted from your religious experience.
Look at the list you created and think about each value. While in the church these values became your measuring stick to check in to see how you are doing in the eyes of God. Are you doing everything you’re ‘supposed’ to? Are you being as perfect as you need to be to be with your family in the eternities? With this mindset, we learn to start looking outward for if we’re measuring up to everything we ‘have’ to be. When you start to notice that your personal values and the values you were taught don’t align your mental health suffers. This leads to inauthentic living.
YOUR NEW VALUES
Next, make a list of YOUR top 10 values. These can be values you are already living or want to strive to live by in the future. It can be hard to narrow it down to 10 but do your best to pick the 10 you try to live daily.
Compare the church value list to yours. Notice how much cross over there is, if any. Notice if there are values that clash with one another.
By really evaluating your personal values and the way you want to live your life, you can remove your external measuring stick and start measuring yourself to your internal values. You can turn inward and start to trust yourself to create a more authentic life.
This can take a lot of practice! Give yourself time to restructure and grow your personal values. If your still feeling conflicted or have a hard time defining your values, you may benefit from faith transition counseling. Click here to get in with one of our specially trained faith transition therapists.