If you've ever found yourself eating in secret, past fullness, or feeling like you just can’t stop, you’re not alone. And more importantly, you’re not doing anything wrong. Binge eating is often painted as a lack of willpower or a failure of discipline. But what if we told you it’s something else entirely?

At Modern Eve, we work with women, especially ex-Mormon women in Utah and Arizona, who are trying to untangle years of complex messaging around food, body, and worthiness. Many have a complicated relationship with eating, and for good reason. This article is about recognizing binge eating for what it is: a coping strategy. It’s not a character flaw, and you don’t need fixing; you need understanding, compassion, and support.

What Is Binge Eating?

Binge Eating Disorder (BED) is the most common eating disorder in the U.S., with more individuals affected than anorexia and bulimia combined. It’s marked by episodes of binge eating, often with a loss of control, followed by shame and distress.

But here’s the part we’d like to emphasize: Binge eating has almost always some function. It could feel soothing, help numb out, and serve as a way to create temporary safety.

If this speaks to you, the intention is not to “stop bingeing” as fast as possible. The aim is to uncover why and what part of you needs attention.

IFS and Internal Parts: A New Way to Understand Bingeing

One robust framework we use at Modern Eve is Internal Family Systems (IFS). In IFS, we don’t view people as having “good” or “bad” behaviors. Instead, we explore the parts of you that have taken on roles to help you survive.

You might have a part that binges on food after a stressful day, and another part that harshly criticizes you afterward. Both parts are trying to help. One numbs pain; the other believes that shaming you will motivate change.

IFS helps us step back and say, Wait. Who’s really in the driver’s seat right now? What do they need?

When bingeing is seen through this lens, it’s not a moral failure; it’s a protector.

Food as a Coping Tool in Post-Religious Life

Many women we work with in Utah and Arizona are trying to figure out what life looks like now that they’ve left the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It is a deep and sometimes disorienting passage. For others, they make their own decisions about what to eat and everything else, for the first time.

Stepping away from a high-control group can inspire a flood of emotions: grief, anger, relief, confusion, and sometimes, guilt. In the cyclone, food sometimes seems one of the only places to turn for immediate ease, particularly if your relationship with your body has historically been sculpted by modesty culture, “worthiness,” or feeling like you should look a particular way.

Eating to modulate mood, then, makes sense in this framing. “But it’s also often self-dismissing or self-judging or confused.” A therapist can help you work through those layers of what you learned about food, control, and your body, and start to write your own story.

Why Shame Makes It Worse

It’s not uncommon for binge eating to be followed by intense shame. The inner critic chimes in: You have no control. What’s wrong with you? You’ll never change.

But research shows that shame doesn’t help people change; it keeps them stuck.

When we respond to bingeing with shame, it reinforces the cycle. Shame leads to restriction, which leads to more bingeing. Compassion and curiosity, on the other hand, open the door to healing.

In our therapy sessions, we work toward building a relationship with food rooted in neutrality, not shame or forced positivity, just acknowledgment, just enough space to let your nervous system settle.

**Body Image and the "Fix It" Mentality**
Let’s be honest: Much of the messaging about eating and body image is still centered on weight loss, even when it claims to be "wellness-focused." But here at Modern Eve, we take a size-inclusive, weight-neutral approach grounded in fat acceptance.
We don’t believe your worth is tied to your body size. We also know that a lot of women have internalized the belief that their body must be "fixed," whether through diets, workouts, or other forms of control.
You don’t need to be fixed.
What you need is a safe space to be seen without judgment. To begin exploring how your body has been shaped not just by food, but by trauma, culture, and identity. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Binge Eating, Trauma, and Complex PTSD

We often find that binge eating is connected to complex trauma, or C-PTSD, particularly in women who have experienced long-term emotional invalidation, high-control religious environments, or chronic stress.

In these cases, bingeing can be a form of emotional regulation. It might help you feel grounded when dissociating or disconnected from your body. It might create a sense of control or soothe a part of you that still feels unsafe.

Our job in therapy isn’t to get rid of the coping strategy. It’s to understand what it’s protecting, and offer new tools that don’t require self-harm or self-blame.

Why Traditional Diets Make It Worse

If you've been on and off diets your whole life, you're probably familiar with the restrict–binge cycle. Here's how it works:

Restriction

You cut out certain foods, reduce calories, or set strict rules.

Deprivation

Your body and brain respond with increased cravings and preoccupation with food.

Binge

The eventual response is eating large amounts of food, often in secret or very quickly.

Shame

You feel terrible afterward, and the cycle begins again.

Diets don’t solve binge eating. They often create the very conditions that lead to it.

Instead, we explore intuitive eating principles, self-trust, and building a sense of internal safety around food.

**Healing Is Possible (Even If You Don’t Believe It Yet)**
If you're reading this and feeling like healing is too far off, it’s not. Even if you’ve tried therapy before. Even if you still binge sometimes. Even if your relationship with your body feels permanently broken.
You are allowed to want peace with food. You are allowed to want therapy that doesn’t focus on weight loss. And you deserve care that sees you as whole, even when you don’t feel that way yet.

How Therapy Can Help (Especially With the Right Fit)

At Modern Eve, we offer outpatient therapy services for individuals and couples ages 12+, with a focus on women navigating post-religious identity, body image struggles, disordered eating, and trauma.

We specialize in:

Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy
Trauma-informed care
Fat-positive, size-inclusive counseling
Support for binge eating and disordered eating
Helping women who are ex-Mormon process complex spiritual and emotional wounds

We’re licensed in Utah and Arizona, and many sessions are available via telehealth.

You don’t have to carry this alone. Finding the right therapist can make all the difference.

A Final Word: You’re Worthy of Nourishment

You are not broken.

Your eating habits don’t make you a bad person. They are part of a larger, deeply human strategy to survive, soothe, and protect.

At Modern Eve, we don’t ask, “How can we stop this?” We ask, “What is this part of you trying to say?” And then, together, we listen.

Let’s Talk About It

Ready to explore your relationship with food and your body—without shame, pressure, or diets?

Visit www.moderneve.org to learn more or schedule a free consultation. Whether you’re in Utah or Arizona, we’re here to walk alongside you.

Recognizing Binge Eating as a Coping Strategy, Not a Character Flaw